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Thursday, November 4, 2010

Four Months

Yup, you read right. 4 MONTHS.
I'm sitting here watching him try to roll over flat on the floor for the first time. He's almost there. Best part, Greg is here! I'm so glad this first is happening while he gets to see it! They're nuzzled face to face on a blanket. Its ridiculously cute!

Its officially fall and too quickly turning to winter around here. I'm one to enjoy being snowed in and sitting snuggled by a fire with a good book or a cute husband but for only a few weeks. This whole 4 months of disgusting weather and murky brown snow on the roads is just too much. So, I'm going to do my best to soak up every moment of fall I can. I kind of missed summer due to the massive belly and recovering surgery time so I'm going to make up for it now! I love bundling him up in cute hats to protect those little stick-out ears. I love the little jackets that come with all his outfits this time of year. I love that I can hold him close when we're out to keep him warm instead of having to put him down because he was overheating. I love the acorns littering the ground around my parents home (not house but HOME). I love my mom's fall decorations that she has made by hand over the years (I'll take pics next time I'm out there and post 'em). I love how I'm going to scoop up a bunch of leaves and sit smack dab in the middle of them. I love sitting around bonfires while my brother serenades us with acoustical guitar. I can confidently say we are in the midst of the best St. Louis season! ....And, I love the cup of hot chocolate with the chintzy marshmallows and happy apples!

He's such a sweet sleeper. As if all babies aren't... Anyway, the night before and the night of Halloween, he slept straight through the night!! Since then, he's gone back to his normal schedule of waking every 3-5 hours to eat then passing out again. Sometimes he wakes up more often but I'm working on not feeding him every time he wakes up. I don't want him to get used to eating every time. I pull out the tricks like putting him in his swing until he drifts back off while I desperately cling to the last dregs of sleepiness in hopes that I can drift back off myself. It usually doesn't happen. Once he wakes up, I go into full-blown mommy mode. Once I'm up, I'm up. Its okay though because I get to listen to the peaceful sound of my tiny taking deep breaths in between swallows and feel his tiny toes tucked into my body in an effort to get even closer. There is nothing better than the time I get to spend with him nursing. I urge every woman to give it their best effort. The first few months were hard; more so for me than most women because of his "chomping" issues. But, now that we're "mostly" past that stuff, it is the best thing I have ever experienced! There is such a sense of accomplishment in knowing you are the one giving him what he needs. I beam with pride when I see his tiny fat rolls on his legs because my sacrifice is paying off. Also, selfishly, its the best getting to know I'm the only one who gets to fix those frowns.

Kelle Hampton said it best " I never can get over it...this loving having babies. And I can honestly say that I know I won't look back with regret. I know I won't want to shake that younger version of myself years from now and tell her to enjoy it while she has it. Because I do. Every bit of it. I savor the weight of her body and the way it falls into the hammock of my arms. I drink in her breathy exhales and the way she roots at my neck when I hold her close, smelling her mama's skin, wanting more. I cherish every second of nursing, the way her tiny fingers curl around mine, her thin lashes batting as her almond eyes lock their gaze onto mine, the perfect pout of her pink lips as they latch on and the relief of all nine pounds of her as she settles into pure satisfaction. And breathes--in and out, in and out--and with each suck, each breath, it's as if love is literally moving with the rhythm of our feeding ceremony."
"...but there is something so raw and beautiful about sustaining the life of the tiniest of forms and hanging on to the remnants of the physical connection we shared not so long ago. She grew inside me and I birthed her into this world and, as she grows and learns and drinks in this universe, it's just a constant reminder of the amazement and beauty of life."

He's perfecting his standing skills. He doesn't like to sit in laps much. He shoots his legs out ram rod straight to force you to help support him while he stands. If you're not careful, he can slide right off your lap. I started to put together his Baby Einstein jumper so he can use those legs to his heart's content. I'm going to have to call in some reinforcements though. It came in exactly 1,000,002 pieces. I exaggerate but seriously, its a baby toy. Don't they realize us new moms are strung out on no sleep and our only fuel is baby smiles and coffee. C'mon!

We have officially begun cloth diapering. The poor kid is still on the tiniest setting but we're lovin it! These things don't leak AT ALL!! The disposables always allowed bits of ickyness to seep out in one way or another causing me to have to do entirely too many loads of laundry for my liking.

I decided this morning that I think I'm going to home-school him. I'm kind of kidding. Those decisions can't really be made just yet but I like the idea of getting to be selfish with him longer. If I do, I'd only do it until high school. I'd want him to take advantage of the programs and sports high school has to offer. Plus, he'd get to sharpen his social skills before college. Now that he's here, I'm so addicted that I can't, at this point, fathom sending him off to school for some other woman to enjoy for 7 hours of his day. Wow, my craziness is flying its colors high right now. Ultimately, I will always do what is best for him but I'm just not ready to think about that now.

Cole has got the head lift down. He's still a little wobbly but he seems to be really proud of himself. I sit near his head beaming with pride until I have to massage my cheeks to soothe the cramping. His little eyes stretched so far up into his head to look for me with his head doing that slight, not-strong-enough bob. He's still not a huge fan of tummy-time but if I catch him in the rare, right mood, he'll go for a while and drool the whole time.

He's got the thumb-sucking thing down pat. He likes to suck on it so much that it often creeps in along side his pacifier or when he's eating. Its like a compulsive need to have the thumb in his mouth. He has no control over it. Now, his poor little knuckle is so chapped from being sucked on. I'd much rather he get attached to the pacifier because you can take that away at a certain age. The thumb you can't. Somehow, I'm going to have to trick him into not sucking his thumb so I can put some vaseline on it because he just won't keep gloves on anymore.

We've got a sitting man! He can only sit in his bumbo which has back support but I'd say its still a step in the right direction! He's fascinated with his new skills.

So I thawed a bottle of breastmilk for my M-I-L to have when Greg and I took a rare and much needed date night. She didn't need it so I called my mom the next day to see if she wanted the experience of getting to feed Cole. She hadn't gotten to yet and its just so cute. Well, after only ever drinking out of a bottle one real time before, he did great. He latched on, knocked her hands out of the way and held it himself. I'd imagine a kid that got bottles regularly might have developed those skills but he surprised me. He fed himself the whole thing.

Look at our new trick!! We discovered this was possible in the bath and I couldn't help myself. I had to style it and take a picture. He naturally has a thicker section of hair that grows right down the middle.

I haven't documented those adorable feet well enough. Here's to changing that habit!

Dear Cole-baby,
I love you so much. I want to drink in your delicious baby smell every moment of the day. It is impossible to get anything done because your expressive eyes pull me back to you like magnets. You are my whole world and I’d never want it any other way. You love me so much too! You seem happy and content when you’re in my arms and thats all a mother could ever want; to be the one to make you so.
You adore your daddy. Your face lights up at the very sight of him and when you hear him off in the distance, not even eating can keep you from searching for his face. He has a magical power over you that he flaunts over me. You fit so well into his warm body and you fall so quickly to sleep. And when you’re not tired, he makes you smile and giggle more than anyone.
I think you’re looking more and more like daddy every day and that’s a very good thing! I still hear that you’re an even mix of the both of us and it must be the best of both of us because you are so beautiful. You get a fan club wherever you go and I can just sense the other mommies wishing you were theirs. I wear my pride like a flag because there is no shame in being proud of such perfection.
Some of my favorite times with you are when you are waking up. You take a while to grasp that you’re no longer dreaming. You hold onto me so tightly while your eyes stray around the room to assess where you are and who is there. We’re so blessed to have loving visitors often and you usually wake up to a new face watching you sleep so sweetly. I know its selfish but I love how you see this new face and search desperately for the comfort of my face. Once you find me, you know you’re safe and can proceed with making a slave out of whoever is visiting. Because you do. You have such an amazing group of people who love and adore you. We hang on your every breath and bat of lashes. And how could we not? We’ve been blessed with the most beautiful and easy baby. Thank you for allowing me to be your mother and, therefore, the president of your fan club.
You’re also a total water baby. Up until this week, I was bathing you in a baby-bathtub in the sink but necessity caused me to take you into the tub with me and you LOVED it. I think you felt safer in my arms than on a hunk of plastic like your baby bath. We played for over thirty minutes. You kept stealing the cup I was using to pour water over your belly right out of my hand. I see many years of pool diving and beach bumming in our future! And, while I can’t wait to have those fun times with you, I so badly want to soak in the suds of your amazing infancy.
You have defined life for me and now all I want to do is live it. My world is full of warmth and color that I never knew it was missing. Thank you for being mine!




About Me

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I'm a new wife and an even newer mom. I have a secret dream to be super-mom. I love to craft, cook, dance and fill my life with as many adventures as possible. I'm slightly crunchy granola but enjoy a good steak. I'm right brained and type B (with some type A tendencies). I thrive best when I get to use my creative juices. I dabble in photography and party planning. I play piano and have a dream to learn the cello. I want to make the most of this one, short life I find myself living.

About This Blog

This blog was originally intended to be a personal journal of my pregnancy journey and all that that entails--shared with only a few close family members. It was a way for me to keep them posted on all things baby and occasionally post a picture of my growing torso so they could see the progress. After several posts, I started to get hooked on other blogs and became motivated to attempt to do more with mine. We'll see how it goes....

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